Shadow of the Vampire
by Promestein
Summary: Remilia and Patchouli go out to see a movie.


"Meiling, can I drive us home?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You don't know how to drive."

"We all have to learn somewhere!"

"I'd rather you didn't learn from inside a ditch."

"You're no fun."

Remilia Scarlet huffs, crossing her arms and looking out the window. The city speeds past, a blur of lights in the darkness. In the seat behind her, Patchouli rolls her eyes before reaching forward and patting her shoulder. Remilia whines in response and leans back in her seat. "Come on, please?"

Meiling shakes her head, but doesn't look away from the road. "No. That's final, Remilia. You don't know how to drive. It wouldn't go well."

"You know I'm tougher than that! Some stupid car crash would never bring down the great Remilia Scarlet!" The vampire grins and balls her little hands into fists.

"Yes, well, this car is made out of paper. It would definitely not survive that," Meiling retorts. "Anyways, we're here." She drives into the parking lot of the movie theatre and drums her hands against the seat.

Remilia sticks her tongue out at Meiling and blows a raspberry before exiting the car. The door slams shut, and the dragon winces. "Hey, easy on the car. You will literally break it if you keep on doing that."

Patchouli exits next. The door closes behind her softly. Meiling nods at the two of them. "Okay, uh. Have fun with your movie."

"We will!" Remi grins, thrusting a fist into the air. "It's gonna be __great.__ " Meiling nods, before backing up and driving out of the parking lot. Remilia bounces in anticipation and clings to Patchouli's arm. "Let's go, Patche!"

The vampire is wearing a baggy, oversized Nirvana t-shirt and ragged tights. The tips of her wings poke out from under her sleeveless denim jacket. Her outfit is rounded out by a pair of combat boots.

Meanwhile, Patchouli is wearing a faded purple sweater, a long skirt, and black tights. "We're watching the new Elm Street movie, right?" The two of them start walking to the theatre. Remilia bounces excitably.

"Yes! New Nightmare. It's gonna be great! I've heard good things about it!" Remi's voice is an excited squeak. "Come on, come on!" She practically pulls Patchouli all the way to the entrance of the theatre. The magician chuckles quietly and lets her.

The line leading to the ticket desk is long. Remilia groans and stomps angrily. "This is dumb. They should know to make way for me, Remilia Scarlet!" She raises her voice, and people turn to look at her. She doesn't notice. Patchouli is unphased. She's known Remilia long enough that she's grown to expect scenarios like these.

"Mhm. You're sort of a big deal, after all." Patche says, without a trace of sarcasm in her voice. "It's okay, though. They'll be out of the way soon enough."

Remilia snickers. "That sounds sinister, Patche. What day is it? Sunday? What kind of magic do you have on sundays? Please say it's fire. That'd be _ _perfect.__ "

"Sun. Sorry to disappoint you," she drawls, ignoring the confused gazes of the people around them. Remi sighs irritably, and puffs out her cheeks.

"That's a stupid magic. The sun is stupid. I'd fight the sun, if I could. Stupid ball of hot air! I'm way, way better than the sun. It sucks." Remilia mutters, clenching her fists. "Imagine it now. Vampire princess destroys the sun."

"I'm pretty sure that'd kill us all. So please, do not destroy the sun."

The vampire sighs dramatically. "Well, I __guess__ I can withhold from that, for your sake." Her voice gets almost sickeningly sweet at the end, and Patchouli flushes. "Hehe. I made you blush."

"You're an ass," Patchouli mutters. "I love you."

Remi grins. "Love you too, Patche! Man, this line is long. We're almost there, though! I knew fate would turn out in our favor," she boasts, puffing out her chest. Patchouli rolls her eyes.

A few more minutes pass before they get to the desk. Patchouli clears her throat. "Two tickets to New Nightmare, please."

The employee looks at Patchouli, then at Remilia. "Uh. That's – that's an r-rated film. You can't bring children into there." There's a moment of awkward silence while Patchouli sighs. __Here we go.__

Remilia stares at the clerk incredulously. Then, she slams her fist onto the counter. "E-Excuse me? I'm not a child!" Her voice is an enraged shriek, and the crowd around them goes silent for a moment. They just stare. "I'm more than old enough to watch this movie!"

"Remi," Patche mutters, squeezing her hand gently. "Calm down. It's fine. Did you bring your id?"

Remilia curses under her breath and rummages through her pockets. "Yeah, I think so... oh. I didn't. Well, who cares! I don't identification! I'm Remilia Scarlet! I'm kind of a big deal!"

"I'm sorry about this," Patchouli says, to the clerk, before turning around. She pulls Remilia to the exit. "We're going home, Remi," she says, in a quieter voice. "Let's not get thrown out this time, okay?"

The vampire opens her mouth to object, but sighs instead. "Ugh. You're right. I really wanted to see it, though!" she whines, glancing back at the theatre. "This is dumb!" She stomps her foot angrily.

"It is. I'm sorry," Patchouli pulls Remi closer to her, and the vampire presses her face against her chest. "It's fine. We can go home, and watch a movie there. I'm sure it'll be way better than New Nightmare. We can do whatever we want."

Remilia squeaks happily, and looks up at Patche. "Oh, that sounds great! We can make a blanket fort, and we can snuggle and kiss! It'd be perfect! Way better than some stupid, b-grade horror movie!" She bounces up and down excitedly.

Patchouli chuckles and pats her back. "Okay. I'll phone Meiling." She reaches into her purse and pulls out her phone. As with all cell phones at the time, it was overly large. But at least it worked.

She phones Meiling. It rings for a few moments before it's answered. "Uh, hello?"

"Hey, Meiling. We got kicked out again. Could you come pick us up?" Patchouli rubs the back of her neck and Remi scoffs.

There's a sigh on the other line. "Why am I not surprised. Yeah, I'll be on my way."

"Thanks."

* * *

Meiling arrives a few minutes later. "Shotgun!" Remilia cries, immediately rushing to the front seat beside her. The dragon just sighs.

"What did you do this time? Please tell me I don't have to hide another body," she mutters, as soon as both doors are closed.

The vampire huffs, crossing her arms. "I'll have you know, if I did anything this time, there wouldn't have been a body to hide!" There's a brief, awkward silence before Patchouli breaks it.

"Nobody died. Nothing to worry about, Meiling."

The gatekeeper sighs in relief. "Okay, good. Last time was a pain in the ass. Please don't do that anymore."

"No promises," Remi chirps, looking out the window. "We're gonna have a slumber party! Me and Patche! We're gonna make a blanket fort and snuggle and watch a movie together!"

"Oh, that sounds nice. What did you do that got you kicked out, anyways?"

"The movie was restricted, and they wouldn't give Remi a ticket because she looks like a child," Patchouli explains.

Meiling nods. "Oh. Well, I'll try to buy that one later. New Nightmare, right? I'll keep an eye out for it during errands."

Remilia giggles. "Thank you, Meiling! We can all watch it together!" Meiling groans.

"I'd rather not. I have better things to do than watch horror movies. I wouldn't want to interrupt you and Patche's special horror movie bonding session. Or whatever."

"Eh. Your loss!"

The rest of the drive passes in relative silence, before they arrive at the mansion. It's tucked within the forest, as far away from prying eyes as possible. Remilia opens the door and jumps out of the car before Meiling stops driving.

Patchouli exits shortly after, and enters the mansion behind Remilia.

Meiling walks inside last, shoving the keys to the car into her pocket. "Hey, uh. Don't watch anything too loud, okay? Sakuya hasn't been asleep long, and I don't want you guys to wake her up again."

"We won't," Patchouli nods, and Remilia clings to her arm again. "Good night, Meiling. Sleep well." The dragon smiles at her before going back outside to tend to the garden.

"Come on, Patche! It's movie time!" Remilia squeaks, fluttering her wings. "What movie do you wanna watch?"

Patchouli thinks for a moment before shrugging. "Whatever. Surprise me." The vampire claps her hands together in delight.

* * *

"Dracula. Why am I not surprised," the magician drawls, sprawled out on the blankets. She's changed into clothes more suited for sleep – a nightgown, but not her usual dress. She hasn't bothered to take off her tights.

Remilia crosses her arms and sticks her tongue out. "Hey! I'll have you know that Dracula is a masterpiece of cinema. I saw it when it came out, you know." The vampire has just taken off her jacket and boots.

"I know. So did I. I was there." Patchouli pats the space beside her, and Remi moves over to her, slumping against her. "I think we may be the only two people on the planet who consider this movie romantic."

Remilia giggles, nuzzling against her. "It's a good movie. One of my favorites! Nosferatu is better, though. That one's actually kinda scary." The movie's already begun, but Remi is undaunted. She would never a let a movie steal her own thunder.

"Nosferatu is very good," Patche admits, smiling softly. Remilia nods and continues talking, waving her arms around in excitement.

"Yes! It's fantastic. Anyways, shh! The movie's starting," the vampire shifts, content with her current position.

* * *

The movie isn't particularly long, and they finish it not long later. Remi grins and leans against Patchouli. The magician is fast asleep. She's never been good at staying up for long periods of time. Remilia lifts one of the blankets and pulls it over the two of them. Then, she brushes Patche's hair out of her face and kisses her forehead.

"Love you, Patche. Nighty night."


End file.
